How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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