We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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