Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
