Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize