Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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