She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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