The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick