never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize