he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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