I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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