This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i will never coherently bang her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
