Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My penis needs a shock collar
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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