Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
