A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
