Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
