It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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