She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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