I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think my moral compass just broke
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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