im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
