My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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