I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
