tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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