If i come over, it means nothing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
