We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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