I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
