Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I checked into jail on foursquare
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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