Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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