This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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