No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
