I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
