That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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