just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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