Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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