thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
