I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
