so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
