I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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