i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish i was in the wii world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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