I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
