I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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