I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
