It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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