i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
