dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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