we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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