Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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