I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
