She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
