We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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