i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
