i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
