Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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