All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
operation have a gay friend backfired
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
