Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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