I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
