make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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