from now on my penis is your penis
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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